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Start a new job tomorrow which will be an adjustment for me because..

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  • #16
    Originally posted by DEERSPINE GUY View Post
    EVERYTHING WILL WORK ITSELF OUT. JUST GO IN, LISTEN, REACT ACCORDINGLY.

    AND WHILE AT WORK, STAY OFF IGGLEPHANS, FUGLY FAT WOMEN PORN, AND TRANNIE SITES ON YOUR WORK COMPUTER, WHICH WE ALL KNOW YOU LIKE,.
    SOME PLACES MONITOR WHAT EMPLOYEES ARE LOOKING AT.

    After being fired from city for internet use I only go on the web on my phone during lunch

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    • #17
      Originally posted by smg View Post
      I took lunch but I wasnt just going to walk out. Usually someone lets me know what my schedule is and what time I take lunch
      What time are you allowed to shit? That's more important that eating.
      Painful elimination is unnatural

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      • #18
        Originally posted by ThePhantomShitter View Post
        What time are you allowed to shit? That's more important that eating.
        I never liked shitting at work so I programmed my body to do it before I leave in the morning and when I get home. Shitting at work is the most uncomfortable experience because it's a 95% chance that someone will walk inside

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        • #19
          Originally posted by smg View Post
          Shitting at work is the most uncomfortable experience because it's a 95% chance that someone will walk inside
          ...and?! That’s what bathrooms are for smegma. Nobody cares if you take a shit in one.

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          • #20
            Yeah child porn has that consequence!
            On Trumps handicap

            “If Trump is a 2.8, Queen Elizabeth is a pole vaulter,” Reilly wrote

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            • #21
              Someone will go inside where??!! Were you going to the bathroom in a conference room??

              You're a riot, dude.
              "Listen to McCarthy" - Art Vandelay

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              • #22
                Originally posted by smg View Post
                I never liked shitting at work so I programmed my body to do it before I leave in the morning and when I get home. Shitting at work is the most uncomfortable experience because it's a 95% chance that someone will walk inside
                WAIT, SO THE SHITTER ISN'T IT'S OWN STALL WITH A DOOR?

                A- WHERE DO YOU WORK, PRISON SYSTEM?

                2- ARE YOU AFRAID SOMEONE MIGHT SEE YOUR WITTLE PEE PEE?

                C- IF THERE IS NO SAID SHITTER STALL WITH A DOOR, HOW WILL YOU RUB ONE OFF DURING LUNCH LOOKING AT 300 LB AND OVER PORN SITES?

                4- OR REPLAYS OF THE RAPTORS WINNING NBA TITLE?


                OH THE WACKY WORLD OF SMEGMA. IS IT A HORROR MOVIE OR A MONTY PYTHON SKIT? WE MAY NEVER KNOW.
                Last edited by DEERSPINE GUY; 07-02-2019, 08:17 AM.
                "LIFE IS FULL OF 4TH AND 1 DECISIONS, CHOOSE YOUR NEXT CROSSROADS WISELY.

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                • #23
                  Take that up with the warden. The Screws aren't treating you well.
                  WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONS!

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                  • #24
                    It takes a special kind of dumb fuck to get fired from a government job. I'm guessing you were given about a gazillion chances to straighten your slow azz out, yet still fucked up a golden goose job. BRILLIANT!
                    WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONS!

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                    • #25
                      We once had to fire a guy who was on over a hundred porn sites when he worked weekends. We had our IT crew print out the complete list of sites he went on. When he tried to deny it, we said 'So you're telling me you were never on Meathole Bitches, Street Blowjobs, or PenisEnlarger.com'? He replied 'I was NEVER on PenisEnlarger.com'.

                      For the record, I didn't recall the exact names of the sites so I had to google a few names which I feel elevate this story.

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                      • #26
                        Unfortunately, I've been involved with (not part of) some similar situations. I've had to "review" some files and STILL maintain I need ongoing psych treatment because of the content. Some people are SICK. Never knew what acrotomophilia was, but, unfortunately, now do.
                        WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONS!

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Corkey_for_President View Post
                          Unfortunately, I've been involved with (not part of) some similar situations. I've had to "review" some files and STILL maintain I need ongoing psych treatment because of the content. Some people are SICK. Never knew what acrotomophilia was, but, unfortunately, now do.


                          I hear ya, was watching this film because I like Famiga as an actress, it was some fcked up shit!

                          Quid Pro Quo is a 2008 American drama film, written and directed by Carlos Brooks, and starring Nick Stahl and Vera Farmiga. The film is about a semi-paralyzed radio reporter who investigates a story that uncovers an odd subculture leading to a disturbing self-realization. The film premiered at the 2008 Sundance Film Festival on January 20, 2008, and was released in the United States on June 13, 2008.

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                          • #28
                            Lol someone will go inside. Fired for internet use bwaaaaa
                            Charismatic megafauna.

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by smg View Post
                              I didn't like how I received no fucking information about what time lunch is and when my email will be setup. Never had a 1st day like that before
                              Are you sure you are not mistaking the welfare office for a job?

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                              • #30
                                Don't get out of line or else you will end up like Milton. https://youtu.be/Vsayg_S4pJg

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