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I have a work story you fellas might enjoy. It's great on multiple levels...I get to be a jerk in it, which I like, and I get my comeuppance, which the rest of you will appreciate.
To set the scene, I should explain that my penchant for drinking large amounts of coffee, combined with a healthy diet and exercise leaves me a bit indelicate at times. I generally manage to avoid stinking out people in the cubicles near mine, but occasionally it can't be helped, and of course I never admit to it. My favorite pastime is occasionally switching my chair out with someone else's after I've had it for a few months.
Anyway, the point is, I needed to use the bathroom to piss, but I also had a little buildup I wanted to get rid of. So I enter the bathroom (a four stall, two urinal setup) and what do I see? The shoes of one of our student interns in the stall nearest the urinals. I know this because our students tend not to meet what I would consider proper dress code, so I recognized his footwear.
I could not pass this chance up. I took a urinal and proceeded to let out a gigantic cloud that would have made an opera singer proud. It was loud, it was beefy, it lasted at least 10-15 seconds, and I swear to God it changed pitch and volume three different times. When I was done, I was immediately gratified to hear him, under his breath, say something like "aw man...." He probably didn't think I heard, but I did, and I loved it! Take that, student intern! Chuckling to myself, I began to piss per my original reasons for visiting.
About 5-10 seconds into my piss, the bathroom door opens and another person enters. I do not recognize him. I think nothing of it as he takes the second urinal, between mine and the stall being occupied by the student. Suddenly, this man lets out a gigantic thunderclap of a fart which damn near rattles the mirrors. He didn't even care that I was right next to him! I mean, say what you will about my student abuse, but I'm either discreet, or behind a wall/stall where I can't be identified. This man just ripped one out like he was the only person there! It didn't have the same multi tonal grace that mine did, nor the length, but the raw power was undeniable. I alternated between trying not to laugh, making sure not to breathe through my nose, and thinking to myself "I probably deserved that."
Having never seen this man before, I can only assume that he was sent by some vengeful fart God to punish me for what I did to the intern. On the other hand, the intern had to suffer through his too since he was still in the stall, so who knows.
To set the scene, I should explain that my penchant for drinking large amounts of coffee, combined with a healthy diet and exercise leaves me a bit indelicate at times. I generally manage to avoid stinking out people in the cubicles near mine, but occasionally it can't be helped, and of course I never admit to it. My favorite pastime is occasionally switching my chair out with someone else's after I've had it for a few months.
Anyway, the point is, I needed to use the bathroom to piss, but I also had a little buildup I wanted to get rid of. So I enter the bathroom (a four stall, two urinal setup) and what do I see? The shoes of one of our student interns in the stall nearest the urinals. I know this because our students tend not to meet what I would consider proper dress code, so I recognized his footwear.
I could not pass this chance up. I took a urinal and proceeded to let out a gigantic cloud that would have made an opera singer proud. It was loud, it was beefy, it lasted at least 10-15 seconds, and I swear to God it changed pitch and volume three different times. When I was done, I was immediately gratified to hear him, under his breath, say something like "aw man...." He probably didn't think I heard, but I did, and I loved it! Take that, student intern! Chuckling to myself, I began to piss per my original reasons for visiting.
About 5-10 seconds into my piss, the bathroom door opens and another person enters. I do not recognize him. I think nothing of it as he takes the second urinal, between mine and the stall being occupied by the student. Suddenly, this man lets out a gigantic thunderclap of a fart which damn near rattles the mirrors. He didn't even care that I was right next to him! I mean, say what you will about my student abuse, but I'm either discreet, or behind a wall/stall where I can't be identified. This man just ripped one out like he was the only person there! It didn't have the same multi tonal grace that mine did, nor the length, but the raw power was undeniable. I alternated between trying not to laugh, making sure not to breathe through my nose, and thinking to myself "I probably deserved that."
Having never seen this man before, I can only assume that he was sent by some vengeful fart God to punish me for what I did to the intern. On the other hand, the intern had to suffer through his too since he was still in the stall, so who knows.
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