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Why your team sucks: EAGLES

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  • Why your team sucks: EAGLES

    @Deadspin: The Eagles suck. There's nothing to say about their fans other than that they're Philadelphians. http://t.co/9XBh34jgWt

  • #2
    Originally posted by Ellsworth View Post
    @Deadspin: The Eagles suck. There's nothing to say about their fans other than that they're Philadelphians. http://t.co/9XBh34jgWt
    Hardly through it and some good ones.

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    Vick's primary receiving targets include DeSean Jackson (who unofficially retired two years ago) and Football Michael Richards.
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    Your Retarded

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    • #3
      has a couple funny lines but overall i think it's terrible compared to some of the other ones. his most hated eagles list is terrible.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Ellsworth View Post
        has a couple funny lines but overall i think it's terrible compared to some of the other ones. his most hated eagles list is terrible.
        Ravens is still the best I've read so far. I hope he closes out strong with with Cowboys and Redskins.
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        Your Retarded

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        • #5
          Agreed on the worst list being horrible

          Originally posted by Ellsworth View Post
          @Deadspin: The Eagles suck. There's nothing to say about their fans other than that they're Philadelphians. http://t.co/9XBh34jgWt
          How in the hell Twatkins and Assomugha aren't higher is beyond me. But I loved this:
          Season Ticket Holder:

          About a decade ago, I took my wife to an Eagles game. My family have been season ticket-holders since the 1940s, and she recognized that this was an integral aspect of our family life about which she needed to learn if she was ever to truly understand us. Knowing what she would see, I was hesitant, but she prevailed upon me to take her and, against my better judgment, I did so. To a game against the Cowboys.

          We arrived at our seats about an hour before kickoff, as is my habit. This was the last year of Veterans Stadium, and the family's seats were in the 700 Level. For those unfamiliar with that term, this bears explanation: the 700 Level consisted of the worst seats at the Vet and was home to a crowd that made the Oakland Coliseum's "Black Hole" look precious by comparison. By kickoff, my wife had witnessed three separate acts of violence, one drunk falling down the stairs and, apparently, a group of women smoking "something chemical" in the Ladies' Room.

          As kickoff occurred, the gentleman who customarily sat to my right had yet to arrive. He showed up halfway through the first quarter, grinning from ear to ear as he brandished his bloody hands, having apparently been "kicking some Cowboy fan ass in the parking lot." This gentleman (whom I am compelled to add was but one member of a large group of Teamsters that sat in our section and tended to behave with all the decorum for which the Teamsters are so justifiably renowned) proceeded to shake a half-dozen beer cans out of the sleeves of his jacket, scan the crowd for Cowboys fans, and, finding one 10 rows down, popped a can and threw it so that it hit the poor schmuck in back of his head, exploding on impact.

          Soaked and dazed, the guy unwisely stood up, turned around and demanded - profanely - to know who had thrown the can. At this point, the Teamsters (and much of the rest of the section) jumped to their feet and charged - not down the aisles, mind you, but over the seats which declined downward at a steep angle. The Cowboys fan was subsumed in a mass of drunken, howling rage, and until the cops arrived, all that could be seen him were bits of his jersey that were being torn off and thrown from the scrum.

          When the cops arrived, they arrested the Cowboys fan for disturbing the peace. I had to explain to my wife that this was pretty much an average Sunday at the Vet.

          Things were never the same between us. She left me about a year later.
          "You on the other hand, describe your shit so many times and revel in how glorious or strange it looks that there is absolutely no doubt you most definitely DO have a shit fetish." - Kelly Green


          Jim Lahey is a drunk bastard.

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          • #6
            vikings fans comments by far my favorite.

            the vick line about needing a playbook to reheat soup was strong in this piece. some of the comments are hilarious (as usual).

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            • #7
              The writer is a vikings fan, so he has a lot of experience with sucking

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              • #8
                The part with the teamsters was hysterical. This also makes me cringe:

                We had fan favorite, perennial pro bowler and future hall of fame safety Brian Dawkins, and let him walk after making it to the NFC Championship game (and losing for the 4th time that decade). We have since replaced him with the likes of Jaquian Jarrett, Nate Allen, David Sims, OJ Atogwe, JR Reed, Macho Harris, Marlin Jackson, Kurt Coleman, Jarrod Page, Sean Considine, Quentin Demps, Kenny Phillips and Sean Jones. This was all in the last 5 years. Also, Brian Dawkins went to 3 more Pro Bowls with Denver.
                To run with the big dogs you have to be a big dog, dumb fuck.

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                • #9
                  the all-caps commenter on the Detroit Lions page needs to join this bored.

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                  • #10
                    One day we ought to have a thread on here about things we've seen at Eagles games. I know I've seen some hair raising stuff and I know I'm not alone.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by RSE View Post
                      One day we ought to have a thread on here about things we've seen at Eagles games. I know I've seen some hair raising stuff and I know I'm not alone.


                      That would be an epic thread.
                      500 internet fights, that's the number I figured when I first joined igglephans. 500 internet fights and you could consider yourself a legitimate internet-tough guy. You need them for experience, to develop leather skin. So I got started. Of course along the way you stop thinking about being tough and all that. It stops being the point. You get past the silliness of it all. But then...after...you realize that's what you are.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Ellsworth View Post
                        @Deadspin: The Eagles suck. There's nothing to say about their fans other than that they're Philadelphians. http://t.co/9XBh34jgWt
                        'Skins version - much better.
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                        Your Retarded

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