Tweet
Meanwhile in Dallas, Earl Bob, Ray Bob and Billy Bob Hargrove are getting ready for the NFC East showdown between the Eagles and the Cowboys.
They pull on their matching chili-stained “Rick Perry Don’t Take No Shit And Won’t Take My Guns” t-shirts and pack the Chevy Silverado for the ride.
24-pack of Shiner Beer, 12-pack of Dr. Pepper, case of Slim Jims, tub of ranch dressing to dip the Slim Jims in, and leftover chicken fried steaks.
Earl Bob moans: “Well, that no good homo Romo ain’t playin’ … skirt-wearin’ pussy!”
Ray Bob: “Shit”
Billy Bob: “Goddamn”
Earl Bob moans some more: “These here tickets ain’t cheap!!! Jerry Jones ain’t had a winner since you could hang a fuckin’ horse thief, but his wallet is tighter than the skin on his face.”
Ray Bob: “Shit”
Billy Bob: “Goddamn”
As they drive down the highway, Earl Bob waxes philosophical on the prospects for the game:
“That no good shitbird Kiffin can’t shut down an offense any better than Ted Cruz did with the gubmint. I love me some Ted, but neither of them assholes can git ‘er done.
Ray Bob: “Shit”
Billy Bob: “Goddamn”
The game starts … the Eagles knock the ball loose on the kickoff, with Fredo running it in for a touchdown!!!
Foles goes 24/28 for 357 and 4 TDs!!! McCoy runs for 224 and 3 TDs!!! AND IT’S AN ASSWHIPPING BLOWOUT WIN FOR THE EAGLES!!!
Earl Bob: “Well, Cowboy December is getting’ more predictable than the trots after Cinco De Mayo boys.”
Ray Bob: “Shit”
Billy Bob: “Goddamn”
They pull on their matching chili-stained “Rick Perry Don’t Take No Shit And Won’t Take My Guns” t-shirts and pack the Chevy Silverado for the ride.
24-pack of Shiner Beer, 12-pack of Dr. Pepper, case of Slim Jims, tub of ranch dressing to dip the Slim Jims in, and leftover chicken fried steaks.
Earl Bob moans: “Well, that no good homo Romo ain’t playin’ … skirt-wearin’ pussy!”
Ray Bob: “Shit”
Billy Bob: “Goddamn”
Earl Bob moans some more: “These here tickets ain’t cheap!!! Jerry Jones ain’t had a winner since you could hang a fuckin’ horse thief, but his wallet is tighter than the skin on his face.”
Ray Bob: “Shit”
Billy Bob: “Goddamn”
As they drive down the highway, Earl Bob waxes philosophical on the prospects for the game:
“That no good shitbird Kiffin can’t shut down an offense any better than Ted Cruz did with the gubmint. I love me some Ted, but neither of them assholes can git ‘er done.
Ray Bob: “Shit”
Billy Bob: “Goddamn”
The game starts … the Eagles knock the ball loose on the kickoff, with Fredo running it in for a touchdown!!!
Foles goes 24/28 for 357 and 4 TDs!!! McCoy runs for 224 and 3 TDs!!! AND IT’S AN ASSWHIPPING BLOWOUT WIN FOR THE EAGLES!!!
Earl Bob: “Well, Cowboy December is getting’ more predictable than the trots after Cinco De Mayo boys.”
Ray Bob: “Shit”
Billy Bob: “Goddamn”