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Wasteful spending in Washington

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  • #1

    Wasteful spending in Washington

    http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2014...&lite=obinsite
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  • #2
    Hehehe ... reminds me of a related joke

    Senior citizen is getting his regular checkup and the doctor says he wants a sperm count for general health analysis ... so he gives him a container and sends him home, telling him to bring it back with a sample.

    The old dude comes back two days later with an empty container.

    The doctor says "what happened?"

    The old dude says: "Well, I tried with my left hand and I tried with my right hand."

    "My wife tried with her left hand and she tried her right hand."

    "Then she tried with her teeth in and she tried with her teeth out."

    "Then I went next door to my neighbor ..."

    "WAIT A MINUTE," yells the doctor ... "YOU HAD YOUR NEIGHBOR TRY IT???"

    Old dude says: "Yeah doc ... no matter what we did we couldn't get the lid off that fucker."
    Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.

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    • #3
      Bwahahahahahahahaha!

      Very nice!

      Comment

      • #4
        A married couple played golf together everyday.

        One day the man and his wife were on the first tee of their local course. He was on the white tee and she was waiting in front of him by the ladies tee.

        He teed off and caught the ball perfectly; unfortunately it hit his wife smack in the back of the head killing her instantly.

        She fell face down on the tee, didn't know what hit her.

        They had an inquest on the wife's death, the coroner said it was clear how she died, she was killed by a golf ball, and that there was a perfect imprint of a golf ball on the back of her head.

        The husband said, "Yes, that was my ball"

        The coroner then went on to say that he was a bit concerned to find a ball inserted up the woman's backside, and could the husband throw some light on this?

        The husband said, "Oh that must have been my provisional. I wondered where it went."

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        • #5
          Doesn't make sense

          chronologically - turrible joke!
          "I could buy you." - The Village Idiot

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          • #6
            Think a McNabby wormburner for the second shot
            John Erlichman, one of President Richard Nixon's closest aides, has admitted America's "War on Drugs" was a hoax designed to vilify and disrupt "the antiwar left and black people" when it was launched in 1971.

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            • #7
              he hit a provisional after clocking his wife with the 1st shot/killing her.

              also, his provisional ended up in the same place where you put your gerbil.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Ellsworth View Post
                he hit a provisional after clocking his wife with the 1st shot/killing her.

                also, his provisional ended up in the same place where you put your gerbil.

                Oh snap!
                500 internet fights, that's the number I figured when I first joined igglephans. 500 internet fights and you could consider yourself a legitimate internet-tough guy. You need them for experience, to develop leather skin. So I got started. Of course along the way you stop thinking about being tough and all that. It stops being the point. You get past the silliness of it all. But then...after...you realize that's what you are.

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                • #9
                  Gerbils are too mainstream.

                  More than likely a hedgehog instead.
                  John Erlichman, one of President Richard Nixon's closest aides, has admitted America's "War on Drugs" was a hoax designed to vilify and disrupt "the antiwar left and black people" when it was launched in 1971.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    His criticism was wrong but there are at least two better dead wife golf jokes I know off the top of my head.
                    Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.

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                    • #11
                      Hahaha!

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                      • #12
                        Come on, it would be almost impossible

                        To hit a wormburner into a dead woman's ass.

                        But you are right, there are much better dead wife jokes. I like this one:

                        Mike, an avid golfer, was teeing up for a very difficult shot.

                        At that moment a funeral procession went by.

                        Mike stopped, stood still with his hat over his heart, and bowed his head.

                        His golfing partner looked at him and said, "Mike, that was kind and decent of you to show such respect for the dead."

                        Mike replied, "Yes, we would have been married twenty-six years come tomorrow."
                        "I could buy you." - The Village Idiot

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