BAC Corporate Values

[Dim Bulb]

My own take on what every BAC corporate values should sound like.

-> Don't comment on what I'm wearing
-> Don't comment on what I'm eating
-> Never, ever touch me
-> You sit on that side of the desk, I'll sit on this side. Don't ever pull up a chair next to me.
-> Don't talk to me at the urinal
-> Don't ever wink at me for any reason
-> My weekend was fine. I'll update you if there is any difference in that general position.

[Diggle]

no eye contact in the hallway

[Dim Bulb]

Don't slide documents under my door

no eye contact in the hallway

I have a bad back

[Diggle]

don't ask me to "please confirm"

[Dim Bulb]

Use one question mark in your email question

don't ask me to "please confirm"

I won't respond more quickly if you use five question marks.

[Dim Bulb]

Don't put PLEASE READ in the re of your email

I won't respond more quickly if you use five question marks.

It's an email. What am I going to do with it other than read it?

[Ellsworth]

Don't ever say "ITS FRIDAY!" Or ask about my weekend on Monday. None of your GD Business.

[RSE]

RSE's Immutable Laws of the Office:

If my print job is X pages, there will be (X - 1) sheets of paper in the printer.

The distance between my office to the nearest working printer/copier is in inverse proportion to the urgency of my print/copy job

If my office has X conference rooms, I will be the (X + 1) person who needs a conference room for a meeting at any given time.

[RSE]

Email abuse runs on a bell curve. The biggest abusers are the most junior employees and the most senior executives. The vast majority of everyday grunts hate the damn thing.

[slag]

Like most things, it has it's pros and cons.

It's quite handy when working with someone who has a track record of issues remembering things that were said when talking on the phone.

[Loki]

Co-workers can deny something said...

in a phone conversation.

The little flags on emails that say they were read by a particular person create a nice bump to their memory regarding points of interest.

[RSE]

Oh I know it does. I'm very careful about email. I don't leave paper trails. If ever really want my clients to know something, I call them. I once gave a client some advice by email. He sent it to the other side and said, see, my lawyer says you are wrong. After that, no more.

[slag]

That's a horse of a different color from writing what I want others to see, and when I want to prove I communicated it.

[Dim Bulb]

that's a definite buzz kill

Oh I know it does. I'm very careful about email. I don't leave paper trails. If ever really want my clients to know something, I call them. I once gave a client some advice by email. He sent it to the other side and said, see, my lawyer says you are wrong. After that, no more.

Your client must've had fun when you explained to him that he just waived his privilege.