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But it seems like every Friday afternoon, there is a blast email from someone at BAC who is retiring or going to a different company, where they thank everyone for everything and wish honey and buttercups to everyone. Sickening. So I thought about what my email to the entire company would be:
Re: Tearful Goodbye
I have enjoyed… well, I've tolerated, really, my ten years with BAC, just as many of you have tolerated me. It's true I sometimes lost my temper and threw things at people, but I'd like to think that was largely an innate desire to be closer to my colleagues, I just didn't know how to express myself. I still don't, and it's a bit awkward to try to write this email, but I'll try to tell you how largely uninteresting and flawed my work product has been over the years, and how I really lived in fear that you would discover that I had never even attended law school, much less graduate. I'm particularly grateful that HR never did a thorough background check on me because there's some things that the authorities are still chasing me on.
Well, that's it for me, then. Best of luck to all of BAC!
Re: Tearful Goodbye
I have enjoyed… well, I've tolerated, really, my ten years with BAC, just as many of you have tolerated me. It's true I sometimes lost my temper and threw things at people, but I'd like to think that was largely an innate desire to be closer to my colleagues, I just didn't know how to express myself. I still don't, and it's a bit awkward to try to write this email, but I'll try to tell you how largely uninteresting and flawed my work product has been over the years, and how I really lived in fear that you would discover that I had never even attended law school, much less graduate. I'm particularly grateful that HR never did a thorough background check on me because there's some things that the authorities are still chasing me on.
Well, that's it for me, then. Best of luck to all of BAC!
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