Divorce advice?

[Ellsworth]

Couple of my buddies just went through it. The kids part is a nightmare but the singles scene is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Tinder and match get them both plenty of action. Tinder fornhookuos. Math for a real relationship plus hookups.

[RSE]

It will help to see a therapist. The depression from my divorce crushed me and it was only through the grace of God and finally seeing a therapist that I was able to get off the floor. Now sucks for you but it gets better.

The other key is always be there for your kids. They will remember who stood with them and who did not. My ex wife left and eleven years later she is still trying to undo the damage with our daughters.

[J'onn J'onnz]

Sorry that you're going through such a tough time. Is it possible that your wife has undiagnosed post-partum depression? I had a friend who had a situation similar to yours - his kids were the same age (6 and 2) and his wife came home one day and was like, "I'm done." After they went through counseling, she got treatment for her post-partum depression and they were able to right the ship. It was a hard and painful process, but they came through it on the other side and are doing very well now together and as a family. You know your situation better than anyone else, so I'm not suggest you stay if you think it's time to bounce, but if the reason she's not treating you well is mental (and treatable by medication), it might be worth checking out before you sign the papers. Good luck, whatever you decide.

[RSE]

It is cold comfort to know that 2/3 of all divorces in this country are filed by the wife.

My wife left because she was tired of being married to me. Within 18 months the wives of three of my friends left the marriage for basically the same reason, the grass being greener elsewhere. Thing is, the joke's on them.

[WeaponX]

It will help to see a therapist.

The other key is always be there for your kids.

I'm seeing a therapist and it does help. All I care about are my kids now so I'm just going to focus on them, I feel horrible about how difficult it will be for both of them, especially the oldest.

[DEERSPINE GUY]

NOW THAT I SAID MY PART ON KEEPING IT TOGETHER, THE BOTTOM LINE IS DOING WHAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU AND THE KIDDOS.

JUST BE CAREFUL WITH THE SOCIAL MEDIA. WHEN IT GETS VICIOUS. AND IT MAY WITH KIDS INVOLVED, THE OPPOSING LAWYER WILL TRY DO ANYTHING TO BURY YOU.

[GroundedBird]

I was separated from my wife for a little while and really didn't want to divorce but that's where we looked like we were headed.

I talked to someone who went through something and reconciled. He tried this...

https://www.amazon.com/Love-Dare-Ale...ords=love+dare

It sounds really hokey but I tried it. It worked. We ended up much closer and happier. btw, after doing this I get much more back from my wife than the effort took, so even thought it's tough at the start, I found it very worthwhile.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well. It's a tough road.

[udontknowme]

I was separated from my wife for a little while and really didn't want to divorce but that's where we looked like we were headed.

I talked to someone who went through something and reconciled. He tried this...

https://www.amazon.com/Love-Dare-Ale...ords=love+dare

It sounds really hokey but I tried it. It worked. We ended up much closer and happier. btw, after doing this I get much more back from my wife than the effort took, so even thought it's tough at the start, I found it very worthwhile.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well. It's a tough road.

I on the flip side worked way harder than my old broad and ended up wasting my time when she was already out mentally where I could've been out chasing young tail. The great part of your thirties and early forties as a single man is you can still get young broads...the problem is you've forgotten how awfully annoying they are. Need to find a quiet one.

Do you have any buddies that have been through it? Talking to a few friends that had been there and done that helped my sanity a lot during the rough times. No matter how awful your slant is being to you...someone out there has horror stories that make your situation look like cake.

[thegodfather]

I know some of you have been divorced and it looks like I'm joining that club too soon. I'm 36 and have been married 10 years 2 kids (6&2) with a house etc. Other than getting a lawyer (which I have) what can I expect? I'm still living in the house right now with her and kids because its my house too. Just nervous about the unknown I guess, we haven't been the best relationship and I feel like I'm living with a roommate who doesn't really care about me specifically.


If its too off topic you can remove, I figured it the offseason anyway.

I have seen many many divorces cannot tell you how or why, but try to stay away from Lawyers. They will suck up your money and work together against you and your former spouse to be. Go to her and see if you can agree between you, house, assets, kids, monthly money the whole nine. You will not agree on everything buy do what is best for the kids future. If she plays super hard ball then you have no other alternatives. But these can be easy as long as you both are reasonable.

[JB]

I'll echo others but I must tell you that you will end up...

on the short end...I bought my house (she wasn't working at the time) and ended up losing that along with being responsible for several credit cards I was unaware we even had. I'm older than you and haven't found the "dating scene" to be what others say. (Maybe my game just blows too) Your children are much younger than mine when it happened. They deserve all you can give them. It completely sucks but You know what they say, "when you go through hell, just keep walking." I wish you the best.

[phillyeagles36]

I'm 22. My parents got divorced my junior year of high school. They couldn't stand each other for about three years but stuck it out because they thought the process would be easier once we got a little older. My brother, sister, and I wanted them to divorce because it was awful just being around them in the house. They both weren't happy and would go out of the way to be out of the house at the same time. Once they divorced, it was obviously weird at first but it's paid off huge for our family. They are both happy now. My dad is engaged and my mom is happy to be on her own.... The worst part was just watching my mom move out. That always tore me up for a while just knowing we would all never be together again. A key for the kids, do NOT move away far from each other. I would live 15 minutes or less apart. You do not want the kids to see one house as home and the other house as being way out of the way. My mom moved two neighborhoods over and it made it WAYYY easier because my life was all in one place and not spread out. Also, stay away from insulting the other to the kids. You always say you won't but when things get in trouble financially between the two, the hate comes out even more. At times in life, you have to do what's right to make your might. You want to be happy and therefore you probably won't be in this particular relationship.

[HEREisAKERS]

JUST TELL HER TO CASHH ME OUTSIIDE

I know some of you have been divorced and it looks like I'm joining that club too soon. I'm 36 and have been married 10 years 2 kids (6&2) with a house etc. Other than getting a lawyer (which I have) what can I expect? I'm still living in the house right now with her and kids because its my house too. Just nervous about the unknown I guess, we haven't been the best relationship and I feel like I'm living with a roommate who doesn't really care about me specifically.


If its too off topic you can remove, I figured it the offseason anyway.

HOW BOU DAAAAT

[BentzforWentz]

Sorry to hear this. Some advice:

1. Make sure you like your attorney (ask around and maybe find a female one). Don't use that crap Cordell and Cordell that is advertised on radio.
2. You may be able to mediate things like assets and child custody. Make a list of what you want and ask for a little bit more.
3. Make sure all communication is password protected, so you don't leave yourself exposed.
4. As other's have said, stay in HOUSE
5. Keep a log of everything - time spent with kids, who is home, who takes them to daycare, school
6. Don't focus or distract yourself with other women. It will happen and you need to go though the pain first. I have a buddy that jumped right into a relationship and all it does is mask the pain. He has regrets.
7. Hide some money if you can. Things will be tight.

[BentzforWentz]

HOW BOU DAAAAT

a typical idiot response.

[HEREisAKERS]

We've spoken privately about my real advice

a typical idiot response.

So get bent, friend.