This place needs a little levity

[slag]

Did you hear about the Buddhist Jew?

He renounced all material possessions ... but kept the receipts.

[RSE]

An Italian and a Pole are hunting.

Suddenly, a gorgeous naked woman streaks in front of them

The Italian says "Mamma Mia! I coulda eat her!"

So the Pole shoots her.

[Dim Bulb]

I've got a million of them.

The holy man said to the hot dog vendor, make me one with everything.

[Dim Bulb]

What do you call an explosion in the kitchen?

The holy man said to the hot dog vendor, make me one with everything.

Linoleum Blownapart.

[TerpEagle]

What has four wheels and flies?

[slag]

What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do?

Stays up all night and wonders if there really is a dog.

[Dim Bulb]

What do you get...

Stays up all night and wonders if there really is a dog.

...when you run over a canary with the lawn mower?





Shredded Tweet.

[royal]

I was raised by a catholic & a jew, so I brought at attorney to confessional.

[art vandelay]

why do italians wear gold chains? so they know wear to stop shaving.

[Hopkins 48]

What does a woman with 2 black eyes do.....the dishes if she knows what's good for her

[CCPete]

Two Canadians were playing 20 questions. The first guy thought up a word....Moosecock. The other guy asked his first question: is it something you can eat? Well, I guess you could, answered the first guy. The second guy said: Is it Moosecock?

[The Duck]

Two Canadians were playing 20 questions. The first guy thought up a word....Moosecock. The other guy asked his first question: is it something you can eat? Well, I guess you could, answered the first guy. The second guy said: Is it Moosecock?

Agnostic French lesbian walks into a veterinarian's office with a foot-long summer sausage in her purse. She gets in line behind a Brazilian midget riding a talking Mastiff. The Pope come walking out of the men's room with a fish bowl. Upon seeing the peculiar sight before him, he drops the fishbowl. It crashes to the floor. The fish die.

Mastiff looks over and says, "There go the Pope's fish."

[CCPete]

A swede , a Brit and a Scot are playing golf with their wives. They tee off and move to the ladies tees. The Swede's wife tees off and as she is in her backswing a gust of wind comes up lifting her skirt to see that she is not wearing underwear. " my god women, you have no undergarments on. She replies, " You don't give me any money. I can't buy them." He reaches in his pocket , pulls out a 10 Euro bill and says....here, go buy yourself some undies.

The Brits wife then tees off and another gust of wind pulls up her skirt to reveal that she too has no underwear on. Good lord ...you don't have any knickers on either woman. That's because you don't give me enough money to afford them. He reaches in his pocket, pulls out a 10 Pound note and says, here , go get yourself some proper underthings.

Now the Scots wife tees off and sure enough another gust of wind appears and she is also without underwear. What is wrong with you he says. You have nothing on. I can't afford them with the pittance you give me to live on she says. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a comb and says ..here....tidy yourself up women.

[Ellsworth]

What did the gay cow eat for breakfast?

Haaaaaaaayyyyyyy!

[slag]

I tried Viagra the other day and had morning sex with my wife.

We get done and she says: "Want to get some breakfast?"

I say: "Nah, this Viagra is making me lose my appetite."

Later she says: "Want to get some lunch?"

I say: "Nah, the Viagra is still making me lose my appetite."

Later she says: "Want to get some dinner?"

I say: "Nah, the Viagra is still making me lose my appetite."

She says: "Well, get up off of me ... I'm fucking starving."