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Yo slaggo: here's what you'll be missing if you don't get the 2016 calendar

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  • Yo slaggo: here's what you'll be missing if you don't get the 2016 calendar

    January: Marcus Smith (sweating profusely after 3rd team reps during August double sessions)

    February: Kiko Alonso (sitting in stands watching his brother Carlos strike out for the Reading Phillies)

    March: Jordan Matthews (working solo after practice on jugs machine that won't help one iota when the games actually matter)

    April: Byron Maxwell (doing his best "what, me worry?" Alfred E Newman pose while wearing throwback jersey of his hero and inspiration Nnamdi Asomugha)

    May: Josh Huff (looking exactly like one of Neil McCauley's crew in Heat as he dons a ski mask to pick up his weekly game check)

    June: Malcolm Jenkins (game action photo of him dropping a critical "woulda been an easy pick 6 if he just looked the ball into his hands" interception)

    July: Brandon Graham (doing impression of Dave Chappelle's "IM RICH BEEATCH HONK HONK) skit while holding up a copy of his recent contract extension

    August: Jason Kelce (snapping the ball 29 feet over I Am Sam's head leading to a chorus of Boooo's and a "shave your back"
    Chant from the inebriated home crowd)

    September: DeRoacho Scurry (being gang tackled for a four yard loss on the first of several 3 and out series in a crucial home loss)

    October: Connor Barwin (rocking Pink hair at a hipster bar that he rode his 1 speed bike to, wearing hereisakers skinny jeans, & drinking a gluten free Victory double IPA & listening to a Husker Du cover band)

    November: Sam Bradford (simultaneously looking at Howard Eskin and Les Bowen during a post game Q&A after losing at home to Tampa Bay by 4 touchdowns)

    December: Chip Kelly (upside down S8 play card that appears to actually be working for the first time since November 2014)
    Last edited by Ellsworth; 12-30-2015, 11:25 PM.

  • #2
    BWAHH

    excellent.
    Officially awaiting Douchebagnacht II since
    May 7, 2010




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    • #3
      Hahaha!
      "Listen to McCarthy" - Art Vandelay

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      • #4


        Well done sir
        YOU KILLED TED YOU MEDIEVAL DICKWEED!

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        • #5
          bwah ... November KILLED me!!!
          Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.

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          • #6
            Hahahahaha.

            I think the off-season has officially begun. Well done.
            --
            Your Retarded

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            • #7
              dammit Els. I just coffeed the keyboard reading November.

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