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Christmas Carol time

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  • Christmas Carol time

    (to Jingle Bells)

    Agholor Agholor ... can't get on the field
    You, Jackson and Jefferey ... you fuckers can't get healed
    Agholor Agholor ... Greg Ward took your spot
    Now when Wentz throws passes ... they actually get caught
    Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.

  • #2
    That's fucking fantastic!!!

    Comment


    • #3
      Is this a Slag original? Bravo!

      Comment


      • #4
        God rest thee merry Igglehans
        Let nothing to dismay
        The cowpies are a shitty team
        We’ll ream them out come Sunday

        Our very own Ginger will cost their’s his job
        Oh tidings of playoffs to come, Oh
        Tidings of playoffs to come!

        FUCK DULLASS!
        "It's not getting any smarter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity, and make it work for you."

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by slag View Post
          (to Jingle Bells)

          Agholor Agholor ... can't get on the field
          You, Jackson and Jefferey ... you fuckers can't get healed
          Agholor Agholor ... Greg Ward took your spot
          Now when Wentz throws passes ... they actually get caught
          No topping that

          Comment


          • #6
            Thought you were going to go with the Good King Wentzeslas angle there. Nicely done. Catchy AF.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by The Duck View Post
              Thought you were going to go with the Good King Wentzeslas angle there. Nicely done. Catchy AF.
              That's good thinking ... unfortunately, as riffed in that hilarious old Ackroyd/Murray/Belushi era SNL x-mas carol skit, I only know the first line of that song
              Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by slag View Post

                That's good thinking ... unfortunately, as riffed in that hilarious old Ackroyd/Murray/Belushi era SNL x-mas carol skit, I only know the first line of that song
                Yeah, after "deep and crisp and even", everybody starts winging it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Twelve Days of Christmas. On the_____ day of Christmas, Dougie gave to us:


                  12 Men on the field
                  11 players on the injury report
                  10 penalties against the Dolphins
                  9 total catches by DJax
                  8 different cornerbacks
                  7 drops by Agholor
                  6 failed blitzes by Schwartz
                  5 players to the Pro Bowl
                  4 injured Dlineman
                  3 failed challenges
                  2 practice squad WRs
                  1 NFC EAST CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I saw Jerruh sipping Johnny Black
                    lying on the bar room floor last night
                    He couldn't see 3 feet
                    cowboys security asked us to be discreet
                    please don't record and hit delete
                    Jerruh would like to keep video from TMZ

                    Then I saw Jerruh fondle two bartenders
                    his eyes were glazed and totally bloodshot
                    Oh, what a laugh it would have been
                    if Jerruh had only seen
                    them recoil in horror at his ghastly face




                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Fumblin' around the Christmas tree
                      Have a happy holiday
                      Getting strip sacked easily
                      In the same old fashioned way

                      You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear...
                      The balls popped out, the ball is rolling...
                      Deck the halls with boughs of holly!

                      Fumblin' around the Christmas tree
                      Have a happy holiday
                      Getting strip sacked easily
                      In the same old fashioned way
                      --------
                      "We choose to go to the moon."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by slag View Post
                        (to Jingle Bells)

                        Agholor Agholor ... can't get on the field
                        You, Jackson and Jefferey ... you fuckers can't get healed
                        Agholor Agholor ... Greg Ward took your spot
                        Now when Wentz throws passes ... they actually get caught
                        I can see Hakim Laws singing this wearing a Santa hat.
                        Will you shut up, man!

                        Joe Biden

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Jeffrey the leaker
                          was a jolly, anonymous source
                          with a guaranteed contract and nothing to lose
                          he back stabbed his QB

                          Jeffrey the leaker
                          is a cautionary tale
                          he was over the hill
                          but Howie knew
                          he should give him future guarantees

                          there must be some compromising photos
                          in that locker stall he calls home
                          Cuz when Josina asked for dirt
                          he freely sold Wentz out

                          Jeffrey the leaker
                          had to hurry on his way
                          but he waved Josina goodbye, saying
                          'don't you cry. I'll be on IR by Christmas Day!'
                          Last edited by Ellsworth; 12-18-2019, 02:58 PM.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Great work! This is better than most of the onfield happenings this year.
                            -Slizz of Wangnutz

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Always been a fan of der Bingel:

                              I'm dreaming of a green Christmas,
                              Just like the ones I used to know.
                              Where the scoreboard glistens and gayters listen,
                              To hear boobirds in their woe

                              I'm dreaming of a green Christmas,
                              With every Iggles chant I scream,
                              "May your days be a gay pipedream,
                              And all your Christmases be green!"
                              "I could buy you." - The Village Idiot

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